SPACE

What exactly does it mean to have your space? Does it mean the far end of a living room where you stack up some pillows and make a reading corner or is it the two feet of air you keep around yourselves where you don’t let others in?

Seems rather ambiguous , doesn’t it? What does one’s space or personal space really truly mean? The reason, I want to write about space, is because to me, my space both in the tangible and intangible sense is so sacred and I expect it to be respected and treated with revere. Too intense? Well let me break it down for you….

Space to me, means an area where I am completely at ease, with myself and the surroundings. It is the most obvious sense, would mean the sanctity of my home, my room, my kitchen and even my bathroom. At the moment, it may seem ironic considering how I share a house. But the idea, is that , it is a place where I can truly be at one with myself . Is this a result of excessive research on the Kon Mari method or an extension of my zen practice, I do not really know but I always aim to always create a space for myself, with minimalism especially in my home. I didn’t fully appreciate it, back when I was still living with my parents, but when I moved out on my own, it became just how clear that I was raised in a surrounding where neat, organized space was always necessary. Now, it gives me peace, knowing that I only keep things with me that give me meaning or clarity or lets me live with intentionality. Again, it may sound a little compulsive and my friends may see my weekly de-clutter sessions as a little too much! Trust me , it is a great way to live, feel at ease and keep things in control.

Moving on to the more intangible concept of space. I think this is something that everyone should take note of.  I like to think that personal space means the extent of  closeness you allow with another both in terms of mind and body. It in an ideal world , it would be the boundary around you which outsiders would respect and not try to get into? I do not just mean in the physical sense where people behave inappropriately like a sexual assault. I also mean the space where the society does not get to have a say or make comments about. Coming from a heavily communal society such as India, everyone has got something to say about the decisions made in one’s personal space. Generations are coming and going, but somethings remain absolutely the same.

What a wonderful world it would be if we taught our children to be mindful of others, taught them to be understanding of others feelings, taught them to cherish the individuality that each person holds, taught them to rightfully design their own space……

 

Flowers

It’s spring again! The skies are sunny and the air is fresh. The trees look alive with small flower buds emerging in pinks, whites and yellows.

The idea of  spring to me, always meant, that I beat the adversity  of winter ( metaphorical) because it is the season when a school or work year usually came to an end. I like to think that the weather turned sunny because I deserved some light, the flowers were the reward for my hardwork.

The reason , I’m writing about “flowers” as a whole entry is because of the significance I believe it holds in my life. For as long as I can remember , I have loved just looking at and smelling flowers. There is something so soft and feminine about them. I would always collect a bunch and keep them with me. Sometimes even after they withered, I would try and save the petals in a notebook. It’s really hard to explain but I like to think they add a splash of color into my otherwise monotone life. This is silly, but I have always wanted to be given flowers, well not necessarily from a boy or anything but just have someone realize that it’s precious to me. Funny isn’t it but I just love associating spring things like rain, flowers, picnics and sundresses to happiness. Aside from the obvious romantic appeal spring brings, it also just feels healing. This 2019, is my first spring on my own. Somehow , I feel everything a lot more intensely this time, I don’t know why but I guess it’s because I am alone- if that makes any sense 😛

Apart from flowers and spring showers, this time the season has blessed me with a beautiful Korean song called “Beautiful Goodbye” by CHEN ( please keep this in mind, because you haven’t heard the last of it 😉 ) . It is probably one of the most powerful songs I have ever heard. It is a soulful ballad that talks about leaving a loved one once April passes. To be very honest , even though it has something to do with love , I think everyone would interpret it differently. To me it just represents selflessness and that really moves me . The world is a really shitty place, is there really any room for us to be selfless these days?  Is anyone or anything even worth it?

Well maybe , we need to learn or two from those flowers that bloom so selflessly despite the harsh world !

Zen

“The only Zen you will find at the top of the mountain, is the zen you choose to bring with you.” – Proverb

It’s funny because I was just telling a friend today about how I feel about spirituality and god and it got me thinking about how exactly I view this matter. This is something , that I don’t usually tell people about myself and often when people do find out, they are shocked because they don’t peg me to be the type. Yes, I am an incredibly spiritual person. I view God as someone, who creates hope yet instills fear so that I may learn where to draw the line. Being a Hindu by birth, I was raised in a normal Hindu surrounding with prayers and rituals, as I got older- I was given the liberty to practice my faith as I wished . I chose to believe in the Hindu philosophy of karma and I frequent temples more for the divine energy rather than for actually standing before god and seeking anything.

About four years ago, I went through a phase of extreme stress and for lack of a better word a sort of “depression”. My brain was always filled with thoughts and that period of two or so years , were incredibly difficult. I don’t remember how exactly it started, but I somehow came across the concept of Zen. It wasn’t a new word, I mean, we’ve all heard it. But what exactly was Zen? Beyond the glamour of the term, with which it is usually used today. What did it really mean?  Zen is a school of Buddhism ideally of Indian origin as was Lord Buddha , but I was more inclined towards an evolved form which is Japanese Zen. It is the technique that emphasizes training the mind to be aware of one’s true nature. Quite honestly, it is long and complicating and at first and I was also apprehensive about the idea of pure meditation and withdrawing from desires to reach peace, which is what Lord Buddha’s primary teachings were.

As time, progressed, I gave Zen a try. I read stories, proverbs, practiced breathing techniques and even began studying Japanese language- out of pure interest to be able to better understand the origins of the teachings, most importantly – the concept of Mindfulness. Cutting to the chase, I am happy to say that in two short years , I have made incredible progress. I’ve often heard that women, are never able to NOT think about anything. Something , I pride myself on , is having the ability to just sit down and have a completely clear mind with zero thoughts. I can breathe in fresh air  & feel it hit my brain. I can close my eyes and hear my heart beat, hear the rain outside. In a chaotic room, I can block everything out and focus just on one sound or something that is relevant to me. Even in times of grief, Zen has taught me to be rational, has taught me to breathe & to feel an inner quiet. It has helped me feel everything , at a moment of nothing. Complicated isn’t it?…..;)

Zen mixed with my age old belief in karma is what pushes me forward to do good things, to be kind, to treat people with respect and equality because of knowledge of what is right  & wrong and absolute fear of having anything negative return to me or my family. This is what makes me, well me.Long story short, I think these two philosophies of life are so ingrained in me and it is something , I would like to take with me throughout my adult life and hopefully pass on to my children.

It is truly powerful, what a willing mind can do in a small corner of a room!

 

Hello

“An idea that is developed and put into action is more important than an idea that exists only as an idea”- Lord Buddha

For years, I have been quite skeptical about starting a blog. Questions like “Why would people ever want to read this?” or “Is my content good enough?” always kept popping up. The reason why I chose to finally take the time this new year and  create this platform for myself  is because, quite recently, I realized that I enjoy voicing/expressing myself and having stimulating conversation , with the only teeny problem being- Myself, an introvert with a lack of an audience. I don’t expect this blog to change anything , but the idea is to simply write my heart out and have something amusing to read a couple years later.

WHO AM I?

To make introductions, I’m a simple, fairly uninteresting, unbothered  22 year old, Indian girl living in France doing a postgraduate degree in human resources. I take life,one day at a time , which is funny considering how I am Indian and worrying about the future is something we are incredibly good at. I do not however feel super connected to the concept of YOLO, but what I mean is in the sense that, life for me , is one productive day at a time. As much as I want to just say everything about myself in about a paragraph, I kind of want to build that relationship and let you get to know me on a long term basis.

I’m not overly artsy  and I definitely cannot see a deep meaning of things beyond a certain point , quite often I derive pleasure and peace from the most fundamental aspects of life. So my posts unfortunately may not really be anything extraordinary , just one thing at a time , that gives me happiness. In today’s catastrophic world, even a moment of genuine happiness is the biggest win I can ask for.

So thank you for reading this and joining me on a long, exhausting yet worthwhile journey to finding myself and peace along the way.

 

Hope you have a blessed 2019!!